I’m Becky.
Longtime yoga student and teacher, proud corporate dropout, sober mom and stepmom to four teenagers. I’m a pet lover, book hoarder, plant tender, change seeker, curator of things that smell good. Enneagram 8, anti-small talk, pro-hygge, big hugger. Midwest-born and raised; Rocky Mountain-bound when it’s time to retire. Mediocre cook, terrible singer, working on finding patience (especially with aforementioned teens).
But the most important thing about me is that I am made of stardust – and I believe you are, too.
If there’s one question that stumps me, it’s this: “What do you do for a living?” The answer was much easier in the old days when I worked in newspapers, political campaigns, and PR.
If you want an “elevator pitch,” I’ll tell you I’m an empowerment writer, teacher, and speaker, and founder of You Are Not Stuck®.
But that’s starting pretty far into the story. That’s the how I do what I do.
What lives beneath is the what, which is the way I describe my actual work of helping people identify and create the life that is calling to them.
In that way, I’m a soul whisperer. A dream doula. A change catalyst. I’m a guide into the questions for which only you have answers. Poet David Whyte refers to these inquiries as “questions that can make or unmake a life… questions that have no right to go away.” I see the divine badass in you, charm it out, and cheer it on.
The most important part of the story, though, is the why. Why is this work of empowerment what I’m called to do? The answer to that is simple:
I’ve lived a life that looked good on the outside but felt horrible on the inside.
I’ve lived a life that I didn’t feel authorized to change.
I’ve lived a life that I felt hopelessly stuck… and once I found freedom, I made it my mission to help others find it, too.
Please know this: You are not intended to spend this life squeezed and choked and squashed in a vise of Other People’s design, or values that aren’t your own, or an outdated world view; no, you were made for discernment, cultivation, and expansion.
Lines are not meant to be toed, they are meant to be moved and redrawn and colored in and erased until they suit you—and you can do that as many times as you like.
They’re your lines, after all.
Becky is no-bullshit real. She’s got an energy and warmth that’s born from her unique and relentless optimism. Yes, she’s a cheerleader. She’s a whip-cracker, too.
Scott Stabile
Author of Big Love
Becky combines deep caring with a kick-ass attitude (and humor!) to help you break the cycle, form new habits, and find a new — healthier and happier — path for your life.
Amy Calvin
Executive Coach
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A sporadic love letter from me to you with insights, happenings, homework, and the occasional kick in the pants.
Newsletter
I first learned about "love languages" about a decade ago, when my now ex-husband and I embarked on counseling to save a marriage that, ultimately, couldn't be saved.
I'm a "words of affirmation" girl through and through – not just in my romantic relationships, but with my friends, kiddos, and every boss I'd ever had. Not everyone knows how to love in that language though; as Gary Chapman noted: “Your emotional love language and the language of your loved one may be as different as Chinese from English, and no matter how hard you try to express love in English, if your loved one only understands Chinese, you will never understand how to love each other.”
Makes perfect sense, right?
That's why, even if they resonate less with me, I've tried to learn how to love in others' languages, especially the other four that Chapman identified (physical touch, gifts, quality time, and acts of service).
I appreciate how the whole idea of love languages has expanded over the years, the way we're encouraged to meet our loved ones where they are, and offer them, to the best of our ability, love in the way in the way THEY feel it rather than the way WE do.
For example, with every passing year, it's more clear than ever that it's through vulnerability and attunement, authenticity and transparency that I most experience feeling loved. And when those qualities aren't available, I don't feel particularly connected.
My husband, on the other hand, values accountability and responsibility and actions over words. My kids want space and respect. And they'd all rather dive into a pool of boiling hot lava than be VULNERABLE or TRANSPARENT lol.
How about you... do any of these resonate with you more than others? Has your love language shifted over time?
Thanks, @drelizabethfedrick and @mymentalhealthspace for the graphics. 🙏
#lovelanguages #youarenotstuck ... See MoreSee Less
Ok, random but v genuine question:
When it comes to napkins at home, are you a cloth napkin, paper napkin, paper towel, or brush-crumbs-off-your-hands-over-the-sink kind of person?
Other acceptable answers include crumbs on floor, on jeans, or directly into dog’s mouth 🤣
#inquiringminds ... See MoreSee Less
When date night, once again, is watching a high school soccer game (tell me you have four teenagers without telling me you have four teenagers 🤣) ... See MoreSee Less