A Plea to Sports Parents

Chill. Out.

I’m at my daughter’s soccer game. It’s a spectacular October morning. Everything is perfect. Except for the yelling.

It’s not just the noise of the yelling, which makes me wish I’d forgotten my hearing aids at home. It’s the intensity of it. The shrillness of it. The absolute unnecessary-ness of it.

I just witnessed a 12-year-old burst into tears because her mom was screaming so much, both generally and specifically critiquing her play on the field. The poor girl literally lost it, turning to her mother during play, and sobbed:

“Stop it! Just stop it! Stop yelling at me!”

Broke my heart.

The ref stopped play to check on the player, who dried her eyes and said she was fine. The rest of the players and spectators applauded her as if she’d just stood up after an injury – which, in essence, she did. An emotional one.

And now? Crickets. The whole place is shushed and saddened. The tenor of this October morning has changed.

Parents, I gotta tell you: If your “words of encouragement” drive your kids to tears, you’re doing something very wrong.

I beg you to check yourselves and remember your role. You’re not here to coach, or officiate, or live vicariously through your kid. You’re here to watch and support. To cheerlead. To empower. To show your love.

And if you can’t do that, may I recommend some duct tape? It comes in lovely colors these days.


Recent Posts

The Journey of Love

My body is adorned with six tattoos, and if you asked which one I like best, I’d struggle: Might as well ask me to name my favorite child. One of them might be my favorite, though, and I’ll tell you why. It makes me think about love – why we need it, what…

Read More

I Just Turned 50. Now What?

A couple days before my summer birthday — the big one — my husband approached with an uncharacteristic seriousness: “Are you really okay with turning 50?” “I mean, yeah,” I shrugged. “Can’t imagine it will feel much different than 49 and 365.” The world, from the mailbox, begged to convince…

Read More

What If You Are the Example?

A few years ago, when I’d reached the point in the book development process when it was time to match epigraphs to chapters, I was thrilled. Every writer’s dream, right?! Yes, I was thrilled… but also overwhelmed. With so many great lines from books that had absolutely changed my life,…

Read More
BE9F0D04-A40F-4107-BE0F-51C766ECD789

Want email updates and inspiration?

A sporadic love letter from me to you with insights, happenings, homework, and the occasional kick in the pants.

This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.